Why We Should Stop Waiting for Happiness and Start Practising Joy

For many of us, happiness has been presented as the ultimate destination.

The phrase “happily ever after” appears so often in the stories we hear as children that it quietly becomes part of the way we see life.

One day, everything will be perfect.

One day, we will arrive.

One day, we will finally be happy.

Of course, we know life doesn’t work quite like that. But these messages can still shape the way we move through the world.

We can find ourselves waiting for happiness to arrive.

• Waiting for the right relationship.
• Waiting for the right job.
• Waiting for the circumstances around us to change.

And when happiness doesn’t stay, we wonder what we are doing wrong.

The problem with chasing happiness

Happiness is often linked to our external experiences.

It can appear when something goes well, when we achieve something, or when life gives us what we hoped for.

And those moments can be wonderful.

But they are also temporary.

The challenge comes when we expect happiness to be a permanent state — something we should feel all of the time.

Because life naturally moves through many different emotions.

There are moments of excitement, sadness, frustration, calm, uncertainty, and everything in between.

Perhaps the goal isn’t to feel happy forever.

Perhaps the goal is to build a different relationship with our emotions.

The practice of joy

Joy is a little different.

Joy is less about everything being perfect and more about our ability to connect with the present moment.

It can be found in small moments:

• A laugh shared with someone.
• A peaceful morning.
• A moment of gratitude.
• A feeling of connection.

Joy is not something we have to earn.

It is something we can practise noticing.

This is where mindfulness can help.

When we practise mindfulness, we strengthen our ability to bring our attention back.

We notice when our mind wanders.

We notice our thoughts.

We notice our feelings.

And over time, we can also become better at noticing joy.

Creating more space for joy

Imagine joy as something you are gently growing.

Rather than spending all of your energy searching for every problem, every flaw, or every difficult thought, what happens when you also give attention to what feels good?

Like a garden, what we nurture begins to grow.

This doesn’t mean ignoring challenges.

It means remembering that difficult moments are only one part of our experience.

Joy can exist alongside them.

So perhaps this month, instead of waiting for happiness to find you, try becoming a little more curious about joy.

Notice it.

Appreciate it.

Let yourself experience it fully.

You might be surprised by how often it was already there.

This month, explore the practice of joy with Joyful July — part of our mindfulness app, it's a month of mindfulness designed to help you notice, create, and embrace more moments of joy.

Practising joy and mindfulness can be more difficult when we feel stressed.  Find out more in our article: Mindfulness When Stress Hits: What to Do When It Stops Working