When Does Stress Become a Problem? 

Stress is a normal part of being human.

But how do we know when normal everyday stress is becoming something more?

It's not always an easy question to answer.

We could put two people in exactly the same stressful situation and one might feel overwhelmed, while the other takes it in their stride.

We can even react differently ourselves depending on the day we're having. 

Something we shrug off because we're feeling rested can feel enormous when we've already had a difficult week.

So perhaps the better question isn't:

Is this situation stressful?

But:

How much time am I spending in stress — and am I getting the opportunity to recover?

What is stress?

Stress is part of the body's natural protection system.

When our brain detects something that might require our attention, the body prepares us to act.

• Our heart rate may increase.
• Our breathing can change.
• Muscles tense.
• We become more alert and our attention narrows towards whatever appears important.

This is incredibly useful when we need it.  The difficulty is that the human stress response isn't only triggered by something happening right now.

We can think ourselves into stress too.

A conversation that ended three hours ago.

Tomorrow's difficult meeting.

A decision we don't know how to make.

Something somebody said that we're still trying to understand.

The event may have passed but the mind can keep returning to it.

So the body continues responding. 

What are the signs that stress may be becoming a problem?

Stress doesn't look exactly the same in everyone.

We might notice:

• worrying more than usual;
• becoming irritable or impatient;
• struggling to switch off;
• replaying conversations and events;
• feeling tense or constantly on alert;
• withdrawing from other people;
• difficulty concentrating;
• feeling unusually tired;
• becoming overwhelmed by things we'd normally manage.

One difficult day doesn't necessarily mean there's a problem.

What matters is the pattern.

Are we returning to our usual resting state after something stressful happens?

Or does one stressful experience seem to roll into another?

Why do some things affect us more than others?

Our stress response doesn't operate in isolation from the rest of our lives.

The brain is continually using previous experience to help make sense of what is happening now.

That means something relatively small can sometimes trigger a surprisingly strong reaction because it resembles something we've found difficult before.

Our current capacity matters too.

If we've slept well, feel supported and have some space in our lives, we may be able to deal with a difficult situation and move on.

But add poor sleep, work pressure, family responsibilities, uncertainty and several unresolved problems...

...and there may not be much capacity left for the next thing that arrives.

It isn't necessarily that life has suddenly become dramatically more stressful.

Sometimes we've simply had less opportunity to recover.

So when does stress become a problem?

Getting stressed isn't really the problem.  We're designed to experience stress.

But when our stress response is activated repeatedly or something keeps it going, long after the event has passed, it can become a problem.

Perhaps there's something in our environment continually demanding our attention.

Perhaps we're anticipating what might happen next.

Or perhaps our mind keeps returning to something that has already happened, searching for an answer it can't quite find.

The body is remarkably good at returning us to a state of balance. But trying to do this continually requires energy.

If another stressor arrives before we've recovered from the last one, and then another arrives after that, we can gradually find ourselves spending more and more time in a heightened state.

And eventually we can feel exhausted.

This is why I've become increasingly interested not simply in what causes stress, but in what keeps us there.

Can we interrupt stress?

We can't remove every stressful situation from our lives.

And I'm not sure we'd want to.

Stress can motivate us, focus our attention and help us respond when something genuinely matters.

What we can learn is to notice when the stress response has been activated and recognise some of the patterns that keep it going.

That moment of noticing matters.

Because once something is no longer completely automatic, we have an opportunity to interrupt it.

Sometimes something very simple can help.

Try allowing your breathing to settle into an even rhythm, perhaps gently breathing in for a count of three or four and breathing out for a similar count.

There's nothing magical about the numbers.

We're simply giving the mind somewhere else to place its attention and allowing the body a moment to settle.

But breathing is only one tool.

Learning to work with stress is also about recognising our thoughts, habits and reactions earlier — before they have gathered quite so much momentum.

Stress is part of life. Living in it doesn't need to be.

Perhaps that's the distinction that matters most.

The goal isn't to become somebody who never gets stressed.

It's to become better at recognising when stress has arrived, understanding what may be keeping it going and developing ways to return to balance.

That's the thinking behind the Stress Interruption Method — learning to Notice, Interrupt, Reset and, through practice, begin to Rewire some of the patterns that can keep us caught in stress.

Find out more about the science behind the Stress Interruption Method

And if you're looking for something gentler to use as part of everyday life, the Just Breathe App includes guided practices and short courses to help you understand stress, settle the mind and build a regular mindfulness practice.

Explore the Just Breathe App